Away From My Yid
I am travelling to Israel next week. Yes, I am leaving my well capable soul mate in charge of my "soul mutt" and kids. I have left him and my daughter with the following instructions:
1) Leave the lights on at all times. The electric company is in need of our donations.
2) Do not feed or take the dog out at all. She is very capable and will hold her pee and fast for 10 days.
3) The dishwasher does not need to be loaded or emptied. It will load and unload itself automatically and suck in any dirty dishes lying around. If it fails to do so, yell at each other and see if that helps.
4) Laundry should be avoided at all cost. Clothing can be worn over and over again.
5) It is best to wait to plan dinner at 6PM. Hungry children are very patient and eat dinner better after sneaking into the closet and cramming 3-4 cookies in their mouths. At the very least just skip dinner and go for the icecream in the freezer. You can survive off canned and pre-packaged food if need be.
6) No need to make any of the beds. Just roll back into the sheets where you left them.
7) Make the kitchen comfortable. Just leave everything where it falls. No need to clean up. It will make it easier for you and the kids to retrieve items if they are just lying in view.
8) Don't worry about bed time either. Just let the kids fall into bed when they're exhausted. Lack of sleep will prepare them for their adult lives.
9) Don't worry about the next school day. Bookbags are heavy anyway, so just lighted them up a bit. A forgotten lunch or a few homework assignments will make the load easier. I know we have 2 boys but if a jacket or 2 is lost, just have them share one and they can each put one arm in.
All my best to you. I have all the faith in the world that you will succeed!
Have a wonderful 10 days! I will return with a blow torch in hand.
1) Leave the lights on at all times. The electric company is in need of our donations.
2) Do not feed or take the dog out at all. She is very capable and will hold her pee and fast for 10 days.
3) The dishwasher does not need to be loaded or emptied. It will load and unload itself automatically and suck in any dirty dishes lying around. If it fails to do so, yell at each other and see if that helps.
4) Laundry should be avoided at all cost. Clothing can be worn over and over again.
5) It is best to wait to plan dinner at 6PM. Hungry children are very patient and eat dinner better after sneaking into the closet and cramming 3-4 cookies in their mouths. At the very least just skip dinner and go for the icecream in the freezer. You can survive off canned and pre-packaged food if need be.
6) No need to make any of the beds. Just roll back into the sheets where you left them.
7) Make the kitchen comfortable. Just leave everything where it falls. No need to clean up. It will make it easier for you and the kids to retrieve items if they are just lying in view.
8) Don't worry about bed time either. Just let the kids fall into bed when they're exhausted. Lack of sleep will prepare them for their adult lives.
9) Don't worry about the next school day. Bookbags are heavy anyway, so just lighted them up a bit. A forgotten lunch or a few homework assignments will make the load easier. I know we have 2 boys but if a jacket or 2 is lost, just have them share one and they can each put one arm in.
All my best to you. I have all the faith in the world that you will succeed!
Have a wonderful 10 days! I will return with a blow torch in hand.
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