The UPS Man Giveth and the “Schnorer” Taketh Away

My husband and I have our favorite tzedakas (charitable organizations) that we feel blessed to give money to each year. Some of them are larger and I donate on line, and others visit our door annually through a collector. Between regular collectors and UPS (I work out of my home and order a bit on line), our bell rings several times a day. Thank G-d for UPS. About 9 years ago, when I found myself housebound after having twins, I began to order on line…everything. I rarely go to a store anymore. So the UPS man and I became friendly. We love his visits. Even my husband enjoys seeing him stop at our house. When my husband asks if he tires of visiting us, the UPS man says “No. Your wife is good job security." We really should get to know him better and offer him some food and drink, but he’s so fast that he is in and out of sight like a bolt of lightning.

As I mentioned, in addition to the UPS man, we are also frequented by rabbi’s collecting charity (tzedakah). Some of them are just so cute and happy. They come with a letter that is approved by our local rabbi so we know they are collecting for a legitimate tzedakah. So when the doorbell rings, we run to see whether it is the UPS man or a tzedekah man. Yet lately, it is not the UPS man and not a tzedakah man. It is a “schnorer” man. You see whereas the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, the UPS man giveth and the schnorer taketh away. 

A shnorer is not a tzedakah man. A schnorer is a story man. He makes up stories, like “my wife needs a kidney” in order to collect money. He often does not have a letter, but stands begging at the door. He knows how to pull your guilty strings and then you feel like your were robbed which totally negates any good will. So I’ve come up with a few tips for handling the Shnorer Man (these tips should not be used on legitimate collectors:): 

1)      Get a large dog. Most of them think they are horses or wild beasts and will avoid your house. We have a little dachshund, so it is not as effective, but works when we tell them she's an overgrown rat.

2)      Open the door in your bikini (men you can try this too…it will surely work for you)

3)      Have a bowl of candy ready and say “Trick or Treat”

4)      Give them a $1.00 and a big hug and say “thank you for the mitzvah!”

5)      Tell them you are so happy that they stopped by because you are collecting for your local orthodox school and ask them if they can donate

6)      Offer them a job to clean up your kitchen for money

7)      Tell them your neighbor (the one you don’t like) is giving out double today, but the offer runs out in 5 minutes

8)      Have your young child (the one throwing the tantrum) answer the door. Nothing like a full-blown meltdown.

9)      Bring them in, sit them down and talk to them for an hour. Then at the end of the hour, offer them $5.00

10)    Well, if you have a heart, go ahead and give them what you feel is right. Surely, they are desperate if they showed up at YOUR door.