Sex Change
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Recently my husband and I decided we needed to update some
of our legal documents. We are both very busy and decided to ask the lawyer who had drafted the
original ones if he could update them. My husband said he would take care of
this and make an appointment for us to sign the documents. As he was notifying
me that he had located the lawyer and scheduled the appointment, he said, “And
oh by the way, he is not a he anymore. He had a sex change.” “Really?” I
replied. “Yes, Samuel is now Samantha. But he, I mean, she is a really good
lawyer.” Well, I’m thinking, this should be interesting. It’s not often in my
conservative-orthodox world, that I find myself with those who have had a sex change. This has added some excitement to my day.
The day of our appointment comes and my husband is not sure
whether he can shake his….now her… hand. You see according to halach (religious
law) a man does not shake a woman’s hand and vice-versa. This is not to offend
or because of any phobias, it is simply out of respect to themselves, their
spouses and to the other person. At any rate, now that Samuel was Samantha
the question was whether my husband should shake her hand. I shrugged my
shoulders.
This was just getting better by the moment.
Well, off we go to our liberal lawyer meeting. Samantha
extends her hand to my husband and, low and behold, he shakes it. It really is
not my husbands style to embarrass anyone in these circumstances. There is a loophole
for that.
I get to meet Samantha and, truth be told, I didn’t really
remember Sam, but its hard not to notice that something is “different”. I find
it hard to concentrate on the legal talk as I’m so distracted by the idea of
someone changing their sex and I really like her earrings. I’m wondering where
she got them. I can’t stop starring. I’m wondering which body parts are real. I
find myself almost giddy and on the verge of a “silly” panic attic from
thinking of the irony of the situation I’m in. I mean I’m sitting between 2
people who could not be more different in every aspect imaginable and we’re
just having a normal conversation. I’m having a hard time containing myself
without physically slapping myself and so I excuse myself to the restroom to
tell myself to “hold it together.” I’m wishing I had some Zan-x before I go
back and I don't even take Zan-x. Maybe I should start. Like, right now.
I go back to the meeting. Samantha is very nice and intriguing
so say the least. My husband informs her that we are celebrating our 25th
anniversary. I’m thinking, "Oh…lets NOT talk about marriage." But, she then informs
us that she is married and celebrating her 27th anniversary as well.
Now I’m really interested. “To whom?" I ask, before my husband slaps me under
the table. Well…I’m just curious. She is celebrating with her wife of 27 years. Seems like they
take the commitment thing really seriously. It is just hard to digest, even for me. I guess I'm not as liberal as I thought I was. But even so, my heart goes out to those who struggle with their identities. It's a funny thing, that in all of creation, it is only people who have these issues.
Well, there we are me, my Chassidic
husband and this now lesbian- sex-changed-woman used to be man. I know G-d was
having a hay day with me. When I get to the next world, my life movie is for
sure going to have a review of this office visit, including my intermission
break to the restroom.
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