New Year : Getting Ready to Date: Shidduch Stories Part One
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| From: Shidduch Dating Made Simple |
So do I, but that doesn’t say much.
So, I ask her what else it says and she says he is studying
“Jewish Thought.” What is that? I ask her. “That’s not a career,” I tell her. I
also have Jewish thoughts. Then she tells me he has a lot of allergies
including pollen, mold, grass, cats and dogs. “OK. I’ve heard enough. Move on.”
I then suggest to her that she use her bar tending license to go get a job at a
bar and pick up the nicest Jewish guy there.
“Mom!”
Ok. Ok. Maybe that’s not the best way, but really I do not
understand this whole resume thing when it comes to dating. I don’t know but I
think she might do better than a Jewish thinker who sings in the shower and
sneezes if she just went to a Shabbos party and met some nice people.
My son is also at the same stage in life. We’ve been told
that he will be given resumes from potential girls that we are to read through.
I read through one. There were words I did not understand as I don’t read,
write or talk “Yeshivish,” so I had to get it translated into regular English.
Apparently we are to read through the resumes, pick the ones we like and then
call the girls’ friends to “inquire” about her (note that there is “no gossip”
exchanged) and that we should not take all the answers to the questions we ask
on face value. For example, if we were to ask, “So how does she dress?” and the
answer is “Classy,” that may mean she shops a lot.” I’m starting to feel bad
for girls who dress classy as they are doomed from the get go. So, I tell my
son, go find a down to earth girl who laughs at your jokes and has a good job
AND who can support you while you go to school…since you’ve spent the past 5
years studying in Yeshiva to be an ideal candidate. He laughs.
We have to laugh. This whole shidduch dating thing has
gotten out of hand.
Truthfully, you would have to be an FBI agent to qualify for
this resume review job. Why not date the old fashioned way? Go to event, party,
and synagogue. Look across the mechitza. Find a nice girl. Ask her out.
Not happening, he tells me. Nope. We are in a matchmaking
business world and surprise surprise but everyone thinks they are a matchmaker.
Apparently there is a very nice fee that comes along with creating a match. My husband
tried to inquire as to whether there were levels of match making:
Level One: Made a suggestion
Level Two: Make a suggestion and few phone calls
Level Three: Made a suggestion, few phone calls and arranged
the meetings.
We are told, “Not really.”
What does that mean?
But it gets complicated. Like what if one persona makes a
suggestion but then someone else sets up the date. Well, I still think this
should just be all done on line or better yet through an app. I mean it is 2014
and why not?
This is all in G-d’s hands and we will probably not fit into
the exact way this is supposed to be done. That I’m sure of. I’m bound to botch
it up at some point. I already had one call and told the candidate to call my
son. I was later told it was a set up and not a real inquiry. Oi Vey!
I have a feeling my husband and kids are already plotting a strategy:
“How do we get Mom to buy into this?” You see it’s confusing me because on one
hand they tell me a “match is made in heaven and the reward is eternal,” but on
the other hand I’m supposed to come up with the fee in “this world.” I’m
confused as to where (which world) all the transactions are occurring.
Well….I will keep you all posted. I think I’m going to have
to create a new blog: “Getting
Married to a Yid.”
Sending you all the sweetest and happiest of New Year’s
Wishes and may everyone who is looking find their beshert this year! #Rosh Hashanah #Shidduch # Beshert #Matchmaker
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