Where's My Hat?
This photo makes me ponder. It’s quote ironic.
I’m the one without the hat. No head covering.
Those are my siblings. They apparently were given hats on
the hot day when we visited Lookout Mountain in 1968.
My hair is out of control. I think this photo was taken
right after my mom chopped off my long curls but didn’t know what to do with my
hair.
Apparently as a 4th child I was not offered a
hat. Or…. more than likely I refused to wear one. What kid in their right mind
would put a hat on top of all that hair? I’m sure my mom said, “4th
child. I’m not pushing the hat.”
I’m always explaining
to people why covering curly hair is much more challenging than straight. You
see, curly hair grows perpendicular to the scalp. You can see from the photo.
No Vidal Sasson hair. No bangs. No whispies. It’s like a bush. But we all have our challenges.
Now my hair is super short. My curls refuse to lay flat, so
I chopped them off. But, still I wonder. Who was that rebellious (and
sometimes still rebellious) girl? Sometimes I’m asked if I gave up too
much or what part of myself I’ve kept. I think the operative word there is
“self.”
Self: Me, I, myself, mine. I’m generally an introvert. I
like people. I enjoy being with them, but I really appreciate my own time. Some
of our greatest scholars, rabbis, priests, thinkers have known that being alone
is the only way to know yourself.
And, giving of ones
“self” is exactly what is needed to find our real self: the SOUL self. Now,
that self is quiet, unassuming, soft, content, happy and modest. It needs no
attention and…. can easily wear a hat or no hat or whatever. It doesn’t care
actually. It gives. It bends. It’s accommodating.
So maybe I’ve grown up. Maybe I can smoosh down my perpendicular
roots, not for my self, but for all of us. Maybe.
What did happen to my hat?
I think the sun was in my eyes. A hat might have been a good
idea.
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